Kaiser Permanente......You Suck!

Today I had to take my daughter for her four year old check up(she just turned four in December). Now usually I don't have any problems when I take her to the Dr and she's good all the way through the entire visit. Not today! Evidently now that she's four she has developed what my dad calls the "white coat syndrome" and knew something was up when we arrived. First she wouldn't take her coat off then she started looking around suspiciously. Then when the nurse called us back, it was over! The child fell out in the middle of the floor. My response: "Oh no she didn't just embarrass me in front of all these people". Needless to say the rest of the visit didn't go well.

She cried when they took her weight, she cried when they tried to get her height, she cried when they took her blood pressure and cried the whole time the doctor examined her. I, being the good mother I am, had to bribe her with the promise of going to Toys R Us afterwards if she would Just.Stop.Crying! That worked for about five minutes.

Then apparently Kaiser Permanente feels that a four year old needs a hearing test where they put the headphones on her and expect her to clap whenever she hears the beep. Ummm she's four! She's not going to understand that plus she was STILL crying. Just call her name and if she says "huh" she can hear!

Then they gave her FIVE shots and took TWO tubes of blood. So by this point she's mad and I'm like Jesus help me. Then they wanted her to pee in a cup. I didn't know that four year old's were required to take a drug test! And you can't command a four year old to pee on the spot! If they don't have to go they're NOT gonna go. So I went back out to the receptionist like "Look, umm she doesn't have to pee soooo what am I supposed to do?". This heffa told me to take the cup home and bring it back with her pee in it. I wish the hell I would!

*SMH* I swear if Kaiser wasn't the cheapest health insurance through my gubment job they would be kissing my grits after today. And I get to do this all over again when she turns five.